what’s red, white, and blue all over?

my journalism career. (get it?)

these are my thoughts about the recent turnover in my current newsroom, feelings about my place in the news industry, and my hopes for my career moving forward.

enjoyiana nururdin, m.a.

july 4, 2025 | madison, wi

for: substack | enjoyiana.com |

enjoyiana the journalist

my now-former colleague said something to me on his last day of work on july 3 that really hit me. andrew, who was our newsroom’s only full-time male reporter, often said funny things we put on post-it notes on a pillar we dubbed “the newsroom quote wall,” but this time he unintentionally ate with his commentary.

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as we solemnly worked on thursday, the state budget had finally passed early that morning, abortion rights were protected for the time being in wisconsin, and sources were calling me for conversations about their experience in the city’s civil rights department for a cover story, andrew prepared for his departure — bringing out an ancient vacuum to clean the area where he sat since 2023, and sharing paleo desserts gifted by our gluten free goddess of a photo director. we were trying to guess the flavor profile, to which i said a molasses cake-thing tasted like gingerbread’s hotter older sister. andrew then encouraged me to write my food words somewhere, perhaps in a substack, and i responded with something gloom and doom about having a toxic relationship with writing.

he then summarized my biggest, invisible writer’s block:

“i used to (casually) enjoy writing, then i became a journalist.”

we casually talked on his last day but most of us were too sad to really think about another beloved reporter leaving. i wouldn’t say I bought into the corporate "our team is close like a family" narrative, but the team has grown to be that safe space amid so much change and chaos in the world around us. folks want to feel at home in their newsroom and I think our team of reporters has done that— until a better job calls back. and don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for my colleagues, but my abandonment issues are definitely triggered.

me (left) and andrew (right) accidentally twinning on his last day

andrew left to take another job doing journalism-adjacent work for an elections information website after covering state government. he’s moving to milwaukee this summer with his partner who works for a milwaukee digital daily.

last month, our k12 reporter, kayla, left to take a job doing business reporting. she was in our newsroom for around four years, (I think) navigating parts of higher ed, k12, newsletters and the like. she will be moving to milwaukee, too.

a couple months before that, our most senior reporter, natalie, gracefully exited her business beat to take a job with a state investigative journalism newsroom. she really loved her job, she said, and genuinely probably would have stayed if she were paid more. she gave birth to her second child, another boy, shortly after starting her new job. i got to see him at kayla’s going away celebration.

but the turnover that hit me the worst was back in november, not even a day after the 2024 presidential election, when my beat partner, nic, left his metro beat, citing concerns with one of the editors--- the same editor i have struggles with myself.

i started on october 14 last year and entered a work environment that i felt deserved an abc sitcom. we could call it “the press” and it would be like “the office” and “abbott elementary.” our workspace is decorated like a 1970’s office with the vibe to match. why not?

we barely have diversity and the culture we do have, feels whitewashed or lackluster — mirroring a city like madison, wi. but this blog post isn’t to dig into my workplace or how it feels to be the only black person and black woman in a professional space, i actually like my job and I've grown too accustomed to being the only one. but seriously, sometimes, i wonder if this industry is enough. if this career is enough. if i have what it takes to do this for more than a few years before i ultimately burn out.

andrew joked about saying something iconic to put on the quote wall before leaving, but his final words were indeed iconic. it led me to wonder:

where did all the magic in journalism go for me?

i miss being young and having chances to go to new york. i mean that first experience at nbc was hell, and working in tv is no joke, but i miss being able to explore my professional strengths. i miss the idea of going to washington dc and being a political journalist before the pandemic closed the door on that dream. i still want to be her, and I know that I am her-- i just don’t know if it’s right for me anymore.

i’ve always been in the in between— i come from a working-class, single-parent household, and made my way to an ivy league for graduate school by 22 years old. i saw parts of the world i never expected to before i knew how to file my taxes. i nearly considered a career in international journalism. perhaps i should have just been a magazine writer. to be a journalist, I've had to be authentic with who I am and stand on business. in my career, that usually gets you a long way, or so I thought.

based on the past few presidential elections, i don’t know what to do. who knows, maybe ill switch over to the dark side and finally pursue a career in politics or governance. i’ve always wanted to be a legal political baddie, and i kind of get to do that here in my position covering local government.

but should I compare my career at 26 years old to versions of a reality that honestly doesn't exist anymore? I'm not even the same person who went to graduate school and barely made it out alive. (that's another blog post for another day) is being a political reporter all that it's baked out to be? I can't say for sure, 9 months in.

book-club worthy

i end this blog post with an excerpt from the introduction to "black women writers at work," edited by claudia tate.

i read this book right after graduating from Columbia, when i realized i didn't actually need validation as a writer, I just had to feel good about it. I went to graduate school to learn new things about telling humanity's history in real time. this was the same me that had written about phillis wheatley and how, just as she had to prove her academic and literary worth in front of a group of white men who thought they knew it all, I too had to do the same to be accepted to a professional graduate program that I was probably even too good for. i was surprised i got in.

I still feel like journalism is a white man's world, despite the amazing stamp black women journalists have made in the news business. even still, as a young, educated, black woman, I bring a certain creative perspective that I find myself constantly battling in my career.

in "black women writers at work," tate introduces why seeing things from their perspective is so key for human survival, growth, and evolution. she writes about the impact of the intersection of race and gender in writings and how they're forever at war in a world that devalues black women for existing. tate praises black women for their vantage points of the world in literature, writing that "they project their vision of the world, society, community, family, their lovers, even themselves, most often through the eyes of black female characters and poetic personae." (pg. 3)

"Their angle of vision allows them to see what white people, especially males, seldom see. With one penetrating glance they cut through layers of institutionalized racism and sexism and uncover a core of social contradictions and intimate dilemmas which plague us all, regardless of our race or gender. Through their art they share their vision of possible resolution with those who cannot see."

that's for sure what I want to do with my work, at least my journalism. sometimes i just need to remind myself.

xo enjoyiana

thank you for reading!

a sandhill crane?!